Wings

((WARNING LONG ASS STORY AHEAD, EQUIP TISSUE))

How long had it been? Hours? Days? Weeks?

If Nagogo had kept a sense of reality, he would have determined his wandering actually lasted no longer than a handful of minutes, but in this confusing atmosphere it was near impossible to tell.

Nothing but black pitch stretched on in every direction and he could not see his own two feet shuffling along on the floor; even when his night vision kicked in, this alien world remained shrouded in darkness. The only thing the deckhand was certain of was the presence of a solid ground for him to walk upon and that fact was enough to bring some comfort.

Dead silence, however, was quite unnerving for somebody who almost never shut up. When he had first found himself here, he called out the names of his beloved shipmates until his throat ran dry. When his cries were repeatedly left unanswered, he began to realize he was truly alone in this endeavor and he had no choice but to continue straight and hope that his aimless wandering ended in a destination.

With each step he took, Nagogo grew increasingly aware of how…empty he felt, almost like a vital part of him was missing. Was this what it felt like to yearn for the company of family? Or, was this sensation something different? He wasn’t sure.

If this is someone’s idea ovva joke, it ain’t funny ‘nymore.

He continued onwards, dragging his feet in a defeated sulk.

Suddenly, he collapsed to his knees on the ground, not so much out of physical fatigue than of mental frustration. For all he knew, he could have been roaming around in circles this entire time, but there was nobody to correct such an error, no signposts to tell him otherwise. He dug his fingers into the icy floor, crying out in a desperate plea for help that echoed through the world.

“Somebody, ‘nybody…please! I jus’ wanna get outta here ‘n go home…”

The eel slowly lifted his head, only to notice the pinprick of light piercing the shadows directly ahead in the distance. Out of surprise, he scrambled to his feet again and remained glued to his spot, transfixed on the light that was drawing nearer with each passing moment. At first, he thought perhaps there was another soul here coming to guide him out of the darkness with a lantern or a flashlight, but as the light inched closer it expanded, bathing the atmosphere in a golden glow. It was only a matter of time before the deckhand himself was enveloped and he thrust an arm up to shield his face from its blinding rays.

When the brightness died down, he lowered his hand and opened his eyes with an awed gasp.

The world around him had transformed from an endless pit of shadows into a sanctuary of large puffy clouds dabbled in the pastel hues of dawn, many of which soared overhead like colossal birds. In fact, he was standing on top of one. The soft white fluff caressed his feet as he crossed to peer over the edge, revealing hundreds of similar clouds suspended in a bottomless sky down below. It was almost like a scene taken from a Renaissance era painting…if only he had been cultured enough to recognize that.

Nagogo focused his attention back to the mainland where a magnificent gold altar sat nearby, waiting. Had that been there before? He was inexplicably drawn to it and before he could fully make sense of the situation, he found himself stepping forward, coming to a halt at its base.

The deckhand craned his neck upward to stare at the podium towering above him where something was beginning to materialize on the other side. Tiny orbs of light descended from the clouds above and fused together behind the relic, creating a massive elongated figure that grew increasingly familiar as its features defined.

A glowing silhouette in the shape of a giant eel formed before the pirate’s disbelieving eyes, his golden skin laced with ancient scars crusted over so that they no longer bled. The eyes that had once been bloodred in color now poured white light from hollow sockets and the weary expression this creature bore contrasted greatly with the malicious scowl he had been remembered for.

Despite the drastic differences in appearance, Nagogo still recognized the beast gazing down upon him from the altar. Once the spirit met his dumbstruck stare, he shied away, shaking like a leaf in fear.

“…Sh-…Shi?”

The eel’s voice, while a booming echo that reverberated throughout the land, held an air of warmth that the deckhand had never foreseen, especially considering his previous encounters with Death himself.

“Compose yourself, Nagogo. I am not here to toy with you; I am merely here to judge.”

Upon hearing of the reassurance in Shi’s words, Nagogo ceased his cowering and returned to his original position at the foot of the altar with a curious squint.

“A…judge?”

The eel looked away in the opposite direction for a few silent moments before speaking again, this time noticeably quieter than before.

“Oh…it appears you are unaware of your predicament…”

Just the way Shi trailed off was enough of a concern for the deckhand. When he received no reply, the spirit lifted his mighty tail and gestured to Nagogo in his entirety.

“Look down.”

Sure enough, Nagogo obediently did as he was told and quickly gave a startled gasp upon making his discovery. His legs, his tail, his hands were no longer the lime green they were supposed to be but now were nearly transparent, save for the soft lines defining his features. Stammering in an attempt to contain his panic, his wild eyes flicked back to the figure looming over him from the altar.

“Wh-wha…what HAPPEN’D ta me?!”

“This is your ethereal spirit. It is…” Shi craned his neck to the sky, searching for the proper words, then back to his guest who was panting erratically, staring at his palms in disbelief. “…all that remains of your sense of self.”

It was a long while before either of them spoke again. Once the initial shock of his state died down and the eel’s words began to sink in, Nagogo found himself staring at the ground in contemplation. He nodded as if confirming what he now knew to be true.

“I’m dead.”

A thought dawned on him, and he spoke it softly as his eyes wandered to Shi again.

“So, if I’m a ghost…where’s my…?”

The golden eel shifted uneasily at the question he had dreaded being asked, but there was no sense in trying to hide anything from the deceased. He gave a drawn-out sigh and addressed the poor soul beneath him with a surprisingly somber tone.

“Your body lies within a coffin carved by the hands of your ship’s Carpenter at the bottom of the sea.”

In the stead of his sentence, Shi recoiled away from the podium, sucking in air of massive proportions before snapping his jaws shut to blow a single bubble from his lips. As it floated through the air, the bubble expanded and by the time it reached the spot where the deckhand stood it was large enough to envelop him whole. Nagogo approached it slowly, watching mesmerized at the array of colors swirling within.

The hues began to blend together and shapes began to define, creating what the pirate recognized immediately as the navy blue of the deep sea. Here, the ocean floor was a large empty plain of sand with the occasional abandoned coral reef and a potato grouper lumbered about in the open. A few single rays of light beamed down from the surface to illuminate the sandy bottom below and Nagogo thought he could see a flounder nestled tightly in the grains. He licked his chops, but the scene began to scroll and soon the fish was lost. Focus shifted to a tall outcropping of teal boulders overlooking a trench that, he guessed, was miles long and descended into a pitch black murk from which there was no return. And there, resting against two rocks jutting up from the sea bed, was the unmistakable form of a coffin with an unmistakable emblem engraved on its surface.

The atmosphere within the bubble faded into a ripple, only to be replaced by a new view of the coffin’s inside and its occupant.

Seeing one’s self in a mirror was a perfectly normal and expected occurrence, but the action seemed to carry an entirely different, nearly indescribable sentiment when the reflection on the other side was no longer living. He looked…almost peaceful, as if he were in a deep sleep rather than an eternal one. His arms crossed at his chest in the style of an ancient pharaoh resting in his tomb and pristine white bandages wrapped across his midsection to disguise the gaping wound hidden underneath.

“I mean, I dun’…I dun’ ‘member much…”

On the oaken floor lay an assortment of parting gifts bestowed upon him by the various members of the Devil’s Wrath’s crew. Roses, daisies, gladiolas, lilies, beautiful flowers of all types littered the ground at his feet, every single one of them still freshly in bloom. In a pile off in the corner, strips of seaweed cushioned a collection of seashells, sea glass in pastel shades of green and blue, and among it all a piece of folded white paper fashioned into a card.

Doodled messily on the front in crayon was a picture of Nagogo and his “litl lad” Pirarah holding hands in a field of multicolored flowers, but the overpowering green had smudged their colors a bit. They stood together against a bright cyan sky with butterflies fluttering all around them toward the puffy white clouds up above.

If the setup of the card itself hadn’t been enough to trip his memory, than he surely recognized the chicken scratch that was Pirarah’s writing written in thick black crayon on the bottom.

“BIG BROTHER.”

It was spelled perfectly.

He could not see what was written inside of the card, but the tidal wave of emotions flooding Nagogo at that very moment made curiosity undesirable. He had seen enough.

Fighting back tears, Nagogo extended an arm to touch the card, but as his fingertips met the film, the bubble burst, exploding into a puddle of soapy residue upon the ground.

He stood there sniffling, squeezing his eyes shut and shaking his head in denial, repeating a single word like a broken record. “H-how…h-how…h-how…”

The deckhand raised a hand to clutch his chest out of emotional agony…and drew in a sharp breath as his fingers brushed against something foreign instead of skin. All crying ceased and his eyes traveled down to meet with the set of bandages; they formed an “X” slightly on his lefthand side, but they didn’t appear to be anything special despite his new appearance. Bandaids, just like the kind Kanini would use to cover up cuts. Well, he knew exactly what they were good for and he pinched the side of the top bandage in preparation for tearing it off.

At that instant, Shi reared his almighty head and roared in opposition, kicking up a gust of wind that knocked Nagogo onto his rear and even blew away some nearby clouds.

“DON’T.”

Wide-eyed, the pirate shakily rose back to his feet and inched slightly away from the altar where Shi was growling through gritted teeth. His eyes glowed intensely in his anger; that about him certainly did not change.

“DON’T rip it off.”

The deckhand raised a non-existent eyebrow.

“Well I mean, you can…but you will not like what you’ll see. Trust me.”

Nagogo decided against such an action and his investigative fingers returned to the bandages, tracing along their smooth surfaces as he threw out his next inquiry.

“Why’s this here?”

In a matter-of-factly tone, Shi recited what was probably some direct quotation in Some Book.

“Sometimes, those who reach this altar come bearing the manifestation of their final injury. For example, if one loses their leg in a war and they die from it, they might come hobbling along on a peg leg or crutches.”

“Oh.”

Nagogo quit fiddling with the bandaids and moved on to toying with his fingers. Somewhat nervously, he cleared his throat and proceeded to unearth the subject that had been nagging at his mind nearly the entire conversation.

“Shi…tell me how I died.”

There was an uncomfortably long pause.

Finally, the great eel stirred and rested his head on the flat surface of the podium, the glow from his eyes dimming as he faintly spoke.

“One could say you died of a broken heart…literally.”

Confused, Nagogo scratched his head in his typical clueless fashion. “Uhh…I dun’ gettit. I dun’ ‘member nuthin’…”

“It was…late last night. There was a terrible storm; all hands were needed in order to rig the sails, secure the top cargo, and bail out water from the belowdecks. You were there alongside all the other pirates who raised you, clinging to the mast to avoid being tossed away by the rocking of the ship. Then, as you were pulling one of the ropes to close the main sail, you just…snapped. Or, to put it correctly, I caused you to snap. That instinct you have had since you were young, me, had been gradually becoming more present in your life and last night, the distinction between friend and foe was blurred so badly that you leapt from your post and treated the ship as your personal hunting grounds.

No tribe member was safe, especially the newer rookies that had joined a few weeks prior. Ebibi, the small shrimp boy who had steering duty, do you remember him? Within seconds, you tore that poor lad into five pieces with your teeth. Then, with your bloodstained jaws, you moved onto his sister.

Screams. Blood. The veterans of the crew scurried frantically to anywhere they could hide from your rampage. In barrels, in the crow’s nest, downstairs in the sleeping quarters. Upon hearing the commotion, elderly nurse Kanini burst from her room with spear in hand, just in time to see you stalking your next victim…your comrade of many years, Kajiji.

You thought you had him trapped. He was cornered against a stack of barrels with nowhere to go and as you are aware, cornered prey is the best type of prey.

Kanini snuck up behind you, fighting an internal struggle within herself, debating, hesitating, raising her spear…

It was at that moment that ever-inquisitive Pirarah came to the surface of the deck from the men’s quarters with his bucket of water, just in time to see your “mother” plunge her harpoon through your back, through that ticker that supplied you with life for nearly four decades.

I disappeared as you regained your senses for that final time. The pounding of rain on your body, the crashing of thunder from above, all sensations faded away save for your sight, which was the last to go.”

Upon Shi’s conclusion of his recap, Nagogo stood with feet spread firmly apart, head hung low as he stared speechless at the ground. It was all too much to take in.

When at last he did speak, his soft voice quavered with the hurt of a child. There was much difficulty in absorbing such a massive blow to his character, much less understanding it. So, he was guilty of murder and, on the same token, so was his mother figure with her betrayal.

“…_{how could she.}”

It was hard to tell if his tone was one of sadness, of anger, or a combination of the two. He lifted his head, revealing the tears streaking his cheeks, to yell at the eel staring back at him.

“ How COULD she?!”

“She killed you in defense for the tribe.” Shi explained, rather calmly. “The hesitation in her eyes…she did not want to do it, Nagogo, but she deemed it necessary. She has cried about it ever since and I doubt she will ever return to being the same person in spite of it…”

When he realized his rhetoric was not working, Shi brought up his second point.

“Kanini did not want you to be in pain. That is why she so accurately lanced you in a vital area. You were alive just long enough to snap back to your senses, but you numbed over completely. She thought about you, even at the bitter end.”

Nagogo blinked back the salty tears, even bringing up his arm to wipe them from his snout. All of this made sense…but then again, it didn’t. Kanini might have had a legitimate reason to execute him, but what the hell kind of reason did SHI have for aggravating his insanity?

His voice escalated into a roar and he threw a venomous glare in the giant eel’s direction.

“HOW COULDJA ?”

Without hesitation, Shi roused himself from his relaxed position and tapped his tail on the side of the altar.

“You would have died within the next couple of years of liver failure anyway. A lifetime of heavy drinking tends to lead to that. Kanini warned you time after time about it, but time and time again you chose to ignore her. I was sparing you the trouble, for I was able to tip the outcomes in my favor, which ultimately was in your best interest. We must evaluate those who we determine fates for and sometimes it takes a fatal accident to expose the true extent of the turmoil seething underneath the skin. You mortals are so fragile.”

Such a reason was not good enough in Nagogo’s opinion, and he snarled in reply through clenched teeth. “WHATCHA GAVE ME WAZZA WORSE FATE!”

“I admit, the circumstances were a bit gruesome but that aside, you died rather quick and painlessly. Had I allowed you the alternative, you would have suffered in agony for weeks, months…as everyone around you watched you deteriorate before their very eyes. That is not something even Kanini would have been able to cure.” There was a hint of regret in his voice that Nagogo was able to interpret, and suddenly the final piece of the puzzle that was his death clicked into place.

Shi was right. Judging by what the holy spirit had said, dying the latter way would have been extremely slow and excruciatingly painful, not to mention debilitating. He’d probably have been confined to Kanini’s bed until his death, undergoing several tests each day, unable to drink rum or flirt with bar wenches or go on adventures with Litl Lad.

Of course, having witnessed the act itself as it really happened, it still seemed Pirarah was worse off than he was, and he was dead. Pirarah had to live with the fact that his mother figure, whom he had trusted for so many years, had killed his big brother with her own two hands.

He had no more time to dwell on the subject before Shi cut his thoughts short in a business-like manner, sitting up straight from his seat.

“Now…we are wasting time. You have been here far too long already and I worry that if we do not make great haste, you will be stuck here for good.”

Following the queue of a shrill whistle, a thick leather volume of titanic size materialized out of the air and landed with a loud smack on the flat surface of the podium, causing Nagogo to jump a few inches. Shi leafed through pages of entries, one page for each day of the pirate’s life, meticulously evaluating each and every word until he stumbled upon the final notes scrawled in thin ink. The page beside it and all those that remained were blank; the book had ended short of expectations. Once he was satisfied, the eel gave a nod of certainty and turned his attention back at the anxious deckhand down below.

“XZ71 Nagogo.”

Upon hearing his true name being called, Nagogo fixated his gaze at the top of the altar where Shi stared amusedly at the empty pages within the tome.

“Upon reading the story of your life, I have come to the conclusion that you were a stupid, promiscuous, good-for-nothing drunkard. You always forged excuses to get out of honest work and you slacked off anyway if they didn’t hold up. You were always willing to place the blame for your mistakes on somebody else just to weasel your way out of punishment. You lusted after women at every opportunity, even if they were in the form of ink on a page and indulged in too much sex…that is, when you could even get it. You wandered off the ship countless times, only to return drunk or have somebody come and search for your intoxicated ass in the wee hours of the morning. You’ve blatantly disobeyed the rules that your tribe held dear countless times, sacrificing the safety of everyone on board. You’ve taken advantage of the kindness of others and the naïveté of others still. You’ve lied, cheated, stolen, and wounded.”

Nagogo’s expression twisted into one of horror and he drew away in recoil as Shi recited every single strike against him. Had he really been that bad of a person his entire life? Sure, he could name a multitude of instances for each point, but if he had known that at the end he would be evaluated based upon his deeds, maybe he would have behaved better. His eyes welled up with tears once more and he tried to choke back a whine.

Shi paused momentarily to allow his words to fully sink in before continuing.

“However…you are a rare spirit with a contagious personality and a heart of gold. Before you arrived here, I watched your funeral and I can assure you there was not a single soul there that wasn’t crying…even Captain himself had to whip out a handkerchief. Your death devastated all on board the Devil’s Wrath, which clearly conveys to me the impact you left upon its crew. You are remembered for being the comic of the ship, always willing to crack a few jokes and lighten the mood, even on the stormiest of days. Your intentions were always good even when your actions spoke otherwise. You embraced the genetically altered appearance bestowed upon you by artificial means, even going as far as to say it was attractive. When you weren’t drunk on alcohol, you were drunk on life itself and you seized each day as if it were your last. You were willing to risk your life for your shipmates, even if the events of your final night spoke otherwise. Do you remember when Pirarah first joined the crew and he was so shaken from his prior experiences that he didn’t say a word? You should feel proud that you were the first person he spoke to; you gave him the gift of words and the gift of trust, you personally took him under your wing as your “litl lad”. You taught him to be bold, you taught him to be watchful…you also taught him what not to do in life, and that’s quite a valuable lesson to be learned. You were humorous, witty, courageous, and, deep down, selfless.”

The tears of sorrow from before at that moment switched to tears of joy at the spirit’s compliments. With sparkling eyes, the pirate clasped his trembling hands together to contain his ecstasy at the mentions of all the things he knew he had done, including a few that had surprised him. Had he really been that good of a person his entire life?

Shi began to trail off. “However…I cannot completely send you to Heaven because of your actions, but I also cannot exile you to Hell because you do not meet their qualifications either.”

A white feather pen dipped in golden ink manifested itself from a glowing orb around Shi’s tail and he latched onto it, jotting his thoughts down on a blank page as Nagogo stood on the tips of his toes in suspense.

“My verdict is this. As you cannot assume a position in either residence, you are eternally bound in servitude as a guardian angel to the crew aboard the Devil’s Wrath, in particular, to the boy you held so dear to you, Pirarah…”

Before Nagogo could interject, Shi slammed the tome shut and a golden beam burst forth from the pages, skyrocketing toward the deckhand to encircle him in their blinding glow. The deckhand could see nothing but the intense light pouring over him and his world and, for a moment, he wondered if this entire journey had all been just a dream and he was beginning to wake up. He felt something tickling his back but thought nothing of it; it was only when he gained an additional sensation of touch in his shoulders did he realize that he had undergone a transformation.

Slowly, the light began to die off until the cloudy atmosphere and Shi returned to his sight. A cluster of the remaining essence lingered behind to gather above his head, melding into a ring forged of solid gold that hovered with his motions and gave off a dazzling glow.

Aware of the extra “weight” upon his back, Nagogo reached a hand behind to stroke a set of downy feathers belonging to the tiny pair of cherubic wings now sprouting from his skin. He gave a quick glance over his shoulder, and, with an irritated snort, badgered the eel grinning mischievously behind the altar.

“Aw, c’mon, these puny things won’t get me nowhere!”

“…fine. I suppose you have a point.” Shi pursed his lips and blew a gentle breath in the pirate’s direction, sparkles tagging along with the breeze to congregate around his wings as the draft came over him. Within the blink of an eye, several more feathers of varying sizes painlessly grew from their base until his new wingspan was nearly twice his height. They were white as snow (although Nagogo had a different thing to attribute their color to) and he was greatly impressed by the creature’s handiwork.

Shi shrugged casually from the podium. “I cannot help but toy with you a bit after all. But I digress…” Clearing his throat, he began to recite a set of rules spoken since the beginning of creation.

“As a guardian angel, you will be stationed here in Heaven, always watching from above the activities of the mortals down below. It is your responsibility to keep your loved ones safe should danger arise, and with that responsibility comes the ability to traverse between our two worlds. Guardians have superior navigational abilities to lead them toward those they protect, and you will always be guided toward the ship you lived on for the remainder of your days. You may come and go to Keron as you please, however, you are extremely limited with the amount of time you are to spend there. The longer you are away from Heaven, the more of your power it takes to keep you manifested on the planet, so do return in a timely manner to restore your force. After all, weak angels are susceptible to many things…and should you exhaust your power completely, well…you’ll fade away until you cease to exist. Might I remind you that there is no life after afterlife.”

Nagogo quietly listened, for once grasping every little bit of information like the student he should have been many years ago.

“Endurance will come with time. But for now…that is my judgement.” At the conclusion of his sentence, Shi relinquished his position at his stand, slithering toward the newborn angel standing amazed in his presence.

The deckhand combed his mind for the right words, but all he could manage to say was a humble utter of gratitude. This time, it was not such a hackneyed phrase but an appreciation that poured authenticity.

“Shi…thank ya. Fer everythin’.”

He chuckled.

“‘Cept maybe dyin’, I dun’ thank ya fer that.”

The spirit before him gave an understanding nod in reassurance. “Nobody wants to leave behind those they love.”

A few seconds passed before Nagogo shuffled his feet anxiously, staring up at his guardian meekly as he rubbed his fingers together.

“I wanna go home.”

Shi looked to the skies above in contemplation momentarily, and without warning, the great eel reared his head and gave a mighty roar in the pirate’s direction, blowing Nagogo away as if he were nothing but dust in the wind.

The sight of the altar and the golden eel quickly disappeared as he tumbled head over heels through the air. Eventually, the momentum propelling him forward strained and he began to slow.

And then he plummeted down.

Pink clouds raced past his head, blending into a rich indigo color as he fell and they all converged into a network of haze that formed the terrestrial sky. Nagogo began to see the wide expanse of the ocean growing smaller as he drew nearer and he spun into a panic.

Wildly flailing his limbs, he continued to plunge toward the sea until an epiphany dawned on him.

Oh, that’s right. He had wings now.

The deckhand wriggled about in a vain attempt to straighten them out, but their crooked positioning refused to give way because his back was facing the planet below, pushing them upward.

HOW DO I USE THESE THINGS?!?

He recalled the advice of somebody he had known, but the memory was faint and he was no longer able to remember who it was.

“Knowledge is best obtained when one discovers it themselves.”

Frustrated, he rolled in to position himself into a nose-dive and his wings blew backwards, causing him to jerk slightly. Using all the force he could muster, he flapped them against the wind and caught an updraft just before he hit the water, boosting his delicate body aloft in the midnight sky.

He fluttered awkwardly at first like a baby bird taking its first flight, but quickly grasped the mechanics of his wings, using them to glide over the water below. A small pod of dolphins surfaced alongside him, chirping happily to retire for the remainder of the evening. They paid no attention to the angel by their side and after a stretch, they vanished into the sea.

Nagogo watched the reflection of the crescent moon overhead spill across the ocean and he descended to the water, eagerly searching for his own to catch a glimpse of his new appearance. However, he was reminded of the stark reality of the situation upon discovering that no matter how close he got to the sea, his aura cast no reflection on the waves. Tearing his face away from the water, the deckhand thrust himself back into the air to dwell not on the state of affairs, but on the mission at hand.

Keron was a large planet; the Devil’s Wrath could be sailing any one of its few oceans. But, somehow, he knew he was headed in the right direction and that his family was close by. Call it intuition.

Up ahead of his path was a narrow tropical island lush in vegetation and an inactive volcano in its center that towered over the scenery. Nagogo cleared the tops of the palm trees lining the sandy beach, their broad leaves gently swaying in the breeze. Soaring above the forest canopy, he advanced toward the volcano, drifting over the massive cone to stare at the desolate interior where plants were starting to bloom in the absence of molten rock. He maneuvered into a dip the minute he passed the mountaintop, then immediately froze in midair upon discovering what lie in wait on the other side of the island.

There was the Devil’s Wrath anchored in a cove by the seashore, bobbing up and down with the rhythm of the waves.

A rush of excitement propelled the deckhand forward, clawing his way toward the ship he called home. Upon reaching edge of the boat, he coasted over the railing and skidded to a bumpy landing on the wooden planks of the deck, adjusting his crooked halo and folding his wings neatly at his sides.

The ship was eerily quiet at this hour. Every window on the surface was dark and only the light of the moon brightened the deck just enough for Nagogo to see his surroundings. All of the crew had gone off to bed; the lookout, who was supposed to be on guard duty tonight, was even catching some z’s up in the crow’s nest.

A soft sniffle captured the angel’s attention and he whipped around in the direction of the sound, finding himself facing the closed door of Kanini’s office where a single dim bar of light escaped into the night air.

He tiptoed over to the door and leaned against it, pressing his head against the wood in an attempt to pick up the speech, but the door could not support his current ghostly form and he stumbled right on through.

Woah…didn’t know I could do that.

Once he had regained his balance, Nagogo focused on the familiar figure a few feet away hunched over the single desk inside the office.

The nurse sat alone in her cedar chair with her head in her hands. The flames flickering from the oil lamp by her side cast dancing shadows on the wall and illuminated Kanini’s ghastly expression. Bags had formed underneath her crying eyes, probably due to lack of sleep, and her face was hollow, nearly skeleton-like as the incident had aged her wrinkled complexion even further. Scraps of fabric fashioned as rags littered the floor near the wastebin. Files and loose leaf papers with all types of diagrams and statistics were strewn about the desk in a messy heap, the ink on some of them warped from the tears their author had shed.

Nagogo didn’t need to peer over her shoulder to know that they were his.

“I’m sorry…I’m so, so sorry…” Kanini gasped, choking on tears. Her hands shook as she attempted to scrawl notes into her journal, but the pen between her fingers refused to cooperate and the cursive letters morphed into unintelligible squiggles.

“I’m so very sorry…”

Seeing his mother devastated like this was too tragic to cope with, and Nagogo turned to leave when he caught a flash of red out of the corner of his eye.

Kanini’s bedsheets were stained crimson red where a body had once lay, leaving a trail all the way to the harpoon propped up against the wall in the corner of the room. Despite her stringent attitudes on cleanliness, the nurse hadn’t bothered to clean it yet; the entire head of the spear remained coated in dried blood. Nagogo’s hand immediately shot up to the bandages at his chest where his heart used to be, slightly queasy from the graphic sight.

Oh…shit.

Now was the time to leave. He fled through the wall of the nurse’s office, dashing out into the open atmosphere of the deck where he stood hyperventilating until the twinkling stars above captivated him and soothed his restless soul. There were so many…millions, blanketing the midnight sky. How come he had hardly ever stopped to notice them in life?

Maybe ya think ‘bout these things when it’s too late.

The view was simply breathtaking. Nagogo made a move to squat down and observe when suddenly, he remembered who might like to join him on the vacant deck and roused himself to his feet.

Litl lad!

Not even bothering to take the faster route of sinking through the floor, Nagogo zipped down the staircase spiraling into the lower levels of the ship…just like old times. Snores filled the hallway and peaked in volume as the deckhand wandered to the first open doorway to his left: the male quarters.

The first sight he saw startled him.

In the lower hammock that had been his own lay Pirarah huddling underneath a thin patchwork quilt, staring straight at him with those huge red eyes gleaming like a cat’s.

“…litl lad?”

No response.

“Litl lad...?”

Pirarah continued to stare straight off into space, saying nothing.

Shi never told me he couldn’t see me…OR hear me…

With a defeated sigh, Nagogo ambled over and knelt at his bedside, clasping his fingers together desperately. Upon approaching his younger brother’s curled form, the deckhand noticed his own beloved plush fish, weathered from its many years on the sea, tucked securely underneath Pirarah’s arm. The familiar glint of silver caught his eye and there was the set of dogtags engraved with his name hanging around the piranha’s neck.

He turned. The drawer to his nightstand had been pulled open and nothing remained inside, save for a few unpleasantries nobody had bothered to remove. Normally, he would have scolded Pirarah for raiding his personal drawer, but…he had no need for material possessions anymore and if there was anybody he would have bequeathed his belongings to, had he written a will, it would have been his little brother figure without question.

Cracking a thin smile, Nagogo reached out to lay a hand on Pirarah’s shoulder, but the boy gasped and recoiled at his icy touch, wrapping himself into a quilt cocoon. Succumbing to the warmth, his eyes began to close and Nagogo stayed by his side until the steady rise and fall of the blankets indicated his sibling had drifted off to sleep.

He would have stood there all night had the sudden onset of fatigue not alerted him to the fact that he had failed to keep track of time. Sluggishly, he turned his palm over to see that the golden aura surrounding him was flickering like a lightbulb about to burn out.

Nagogo quickly rose to his feet, staring down at his brother then at the other pirates sleeping within the room with a crestfallen expression.

“I…I gotta go.”

Afraid to touch his sleeping form again, Nagogo leaned over the hammock and whispered his goodbye.

“Have many ‘ventchurs fer me, litl lad. Big brother’s always watchin’.”

With that, the spirit unfurled his great wings from his back and, with a few mighty flaps, thrust himself through the ceiling on an airborne path to the heavens. Nagogo knew he would return again someday; perhaps tomorrow after he had fully rejuvenated his strength he would pay the ship another visit, but there was still a part of him that knew this new “life” would be drastically different from the old. It was simply a matter of getting used to. Hell, maybe there were lady angels somewhere up in Heaven just waiting for him.

In his haste, a single feather had detached itself from his wing to float daintily down to the floor, and, no longer connected to its energy source, became visible for Pirarah to discover the next morning.

He knew it belonged to no seagull.



((I APOLOGIZE FOR MAKING PEOPLE BRING OUT THE WATERMELON TISSUES because darnit I cried while writing it too. Also tenses, what are those? –have not proofread guh mind blew a fuse-

As I wrote this, I attempted to weave in subtle elements of humor (Nagogo IS a comical character after all) to kind of defray the heartwrenching topic at hand, but it is still not a pleasant subject to spend so much time crafting words for and I’m sure it was quite unpleasant of a read.

This is…as I would call it, an “epilogue for the epilogue” so as to not leave things on such a bad note in the future. I really do like happy endings, and this at least diverts some of the finality of the events that happened prior to it. If I thought THIS was hard to write [both as in technical skill and subject matter], I can’t even imagine what “that one chapter” will be like.

This was inspired by a dream I had [it played out pretty much like I wrote] that was most likely inspired by my friend Corinne. I’d been thinking about her a lot during winter break when I first sat down to write this story, probably because my mom and I had a holiday tradition where we would go to watch my friend dance in the town’s local Nutcracker play and my friend’s mother would provide us with front row seats. It was the weirdest, most empty feeling to come home for Christmas break and pick up the phone to call…only to realize in the middle of dialing the number that nobody lives there anymore. These past six months have come and gone, some times harder than others, but I know that I’m healing and I am moving on.

So, I guess I dedicate the inspiration for these pieces to her and her mom? Her mom especially, since it is the good things in her life that should overshadow that one bad action there at the very end and ultimately help her in earning her wings.

[link]

I listened to this a lot while drawing [I can’t listen to music when I write, it’s distracting]
AR Tonelico has beautiful OST I fangasm over it

This was the original picture to be posted done in December: [link]

I felt like redoing the picture because the black kinda takes away from the “otherworldly” feel of it and it is a very finite color, and I preferred to draw out the card…I think it has a more powerful effect that way.

-Swiz))